So I’ve been mega introverted these past few days, I kind of enjoy it. Space to look after myself. I get so carried away with excitement sometimes I forget to eat for days, so time in my own space really lets me do things for me. Making myself nourishing meals, playing instruments, writing, watching tv, doing some yoga, catching up with friends and I especially enjoy just being alone to recharge.
After a bit of a hangover this morning, I had a productive day paying my bills and decluttering my space. My dad came and picked me up and we drove around the countryside in the rain and grey of Scotland. Talking about trees and places he went with his dad and generally having a relaxing time.
Last night was really enjoyable, I went to my friends house, they had been getting drunk in the pizzeria and making pizza and by the time I got there they were just finishing a bottle of whisky. We played card games and turned them into drinking games, shots of gin were the forfeit (of which I had a few). Bucky was definitely involved… for anyone who doesn’t know what bucky is, you are missing out (although I guess not really). It’s caffeinated wine made by monks and for some reason Scotland has made it the drink of choice (after whiskey perhaps).
Records were playing on the decks all night and we smoked lots of weed as per usual and eventually the other two left but I stayed behind with Sean. We had the loveliest time, we had sex everywhere… on the bed, the table, the couch, the other bed. Over the past few years I’ve had a few sexual awakenings, they coincide with my spiritual awakenings usually. And right now seems to be a big one! I love the energy and excitement within me, it’s so inspiring!
Before leaving my flat that evening, I told my cat that I’d be back later so made sure to return to mine around 5 in the morning as I didn’t want to be a liar, especially to my darling cat. Sean walked me home and fell asleep in my bed almost immediately. I followed not long after. I always tell myself to only stay out for a few drinks and it never seems to work that way, but at least the experiences make it worthwhile.
Oh yeah I forgot to mention I saw a horse today he was cute, he came running over all merry and happy to see us, tried to bite my dads hand when he got close though! Cheeky guy… and then he scratched his head off the fence like a wee cutie! Here’s a pic of him…
Anyway onto my poem for the day… written during a period of introversion.
oh the endlessness of days,
the sleepy sleeplessness
will the withdrawal ever end
will i ever see light again
or continue to shut myself away from the cracks coming through the blinds
another cigarette
that will do it
another cup of tea
another distraction
puffing away until the motivation comes
what an ironic trap
the shops will have to wait
those with the 9-5 grind
i cant be a part of you right now
creativeflow 