part 1 – in the cafe
Today is a very antisocial day for me. I’ve been constantly avoiding walking past people, overthinking, not wanting to speak, feeling so full of energy. Some days it just feels like I’m extra sensitive, I wonder if it’s the weed, or the lack of coffee, or too much booze, or all of the above.
The creativity isn’t really coming for me at the moment so just writing anyway seems to be the thing to do…
My legs wont stop bouncing and constant movement is making me vibrate, the music that seems to be pulling me today is all very upbeat and grimey and a bit mad.
Sitting in the cafe at the moment, I know a few people in here but am avoiding speaking to them, when I leave it will probably happen.
Need to go to the pharmacy soon, I had unprotected sex the other night (which I don’t really remember much) apparently he came in me a couple of times, he was surprised when I told him my memory was patchy.
I remember arriving at his, his friend was there and they were celebrating his birthday, then my head jumps forward to being in the shower with him. A couple of vague other memories, and that’s pretty much it. My main memory is more just a feeling, it was fun. Apparently we did a lot, he says he’ll remind me of what when I’m more sober (as if that ever happens lol).
Anyway, it’s obvious that I need to get contraception I don’t have to worry about cause I am a bit of a mess sometimes, so hopefully the pharmacist will help me there.
Still it’s stressful, I feel like such an idiot sometimes, really bad at looking after myself. Constantly worrying about being pregnant is not such a nice feeling really.
part 2 – returning home
I lost the book from the other day, the Rupi Kaur one. The same day that it was purchased, I misplaced it somewhere between the Riverside and my home. Maybe it was meant to be… I read it all in one sitting so maybe it wasn’t something to linger on.
Back in the flat now, someone came over to look at the desk that belonged to Martin but she’s not going to take it. Would have been nice to just get it out of here already, maybe I should just give it away. Brian wanted it but he’s broke, as am I.
The pharmacist didn’t have the pill in stock today but he says to come back tomorrow thank god. He asked me all the questions so I just need to pick it up. He couldn’t give me the jag that I wanted for contraception the next few months, but I’ll go to the sexual health clinic tomorrow and get it there.
I’m supposed to be going out for drinks tonight, was meant to be going to the writing group in town too, but not certain if I will. Usually end up doing it anyway when beers involved though.
My mood has changed from earlier. It was grey like the sky this afternoon, but as the sun came out happiness came back to me. I got some beautiful fabric from the charity shop it will look nice on the wall, and some shorts too. Keeping things fresh is good for my mind. Constant new beginnings.
I’m listening to some sweet bouncy music now. Love them brass instruments and the lovely beat. Would like to go see them one day.
creativeflow 